GET YOUR TEETH INTO THESE
Before I go home to the Midlands and get mocked for being a vegetarian, teach my cousins how to vodka-tampon and sob into my teenage bed because my Dad threw away my old diaries - I thought I’d patronise you with some HAWT TIP OFFS for 2012. I’m going to make this really brief and then record an extended video entry on NYE when I’m 2 bottles of Archers down (and i wonder why my tooth fell out this week) rambling about how slutty-cooking is the new dubstep, and how Maxwell D and me nearly got it owwwnnn thanks to Twitter and the #garagememories hashtag.
LAPALUX : http://soundcloud.com/lapalux
Lapalux makes synth waves so big and deep its like swimming through honey, he smashes around bass throbs and dainty vocals, churning out tracks so fluid and graceful they make Kate Middleton look like a fat ugly old cow. If he doesn’t use that in his biography I’ll be personally pissed off. I saw him play at The Nest earlier this month, and it was one of the best sets i’ve seen this year. He’s got proper energy and reminds us that lesbians like James Blake only know how to make one good track.
NACHO PICASSO: http://nachopicasso.com/
Nacho makes flawless fucking rap music, with smooth as nutella production (thanks to Blue Sky Black Death) and monotone bars that make ASAP Rocky sound pre-school. He throws to Bad Brains and Black Flag and makes horror-core references way more Wu-Tang than OFKTA. Lyrics like:
“I pay a juggalo to come for your jugular
If I like the jugs on her, then I’m probably druggin her”
are exactly what i’m after, you can download his album for FREE $$$$$$$$$$ here: http://nachopicasso.com/
SAM FRANK: You know all about Sam Frank already, you do because he’s the fella that Skream is obsessed with that sings through a vo-coder and makes everything sound like if Daft Punk weren’t gash. You know Where You Should Be’ and ‘Anticipate’? Yep, They are Mr Frank. And his solo material is slick as fuck and bizarrely heartbreaking, try this:
CASINO TIMES: http://soundcloud.com/casino-times
I want you to all be obsessed with Casino Times, so we can share headphones on the tube and gush about how smart they are, you can even bring me a poptart and some coffee and the journey will be perfect. They make slow, romantic house music with jittery fragments of mixed vocals and waves of well crafted noise. They even remixed M J Cole without being twats, infact, it sounded incredibly decent. I love them love them love them. And I hate everything.
THERE ARE LOADS MORE. BUT I’M GOING HOME NOW. CIAO KUNT$.
Laura-May Coope
